CMN

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." -Anonymous

No matter how many times we let each other go, we're always back together, it happens every time. & Even though we barely have anything in common, and we butt heads like crazy. There is one thing that we do have in common, we both have maaadfuccken love for each other,<3

A day w/ my King

Yes! My baby came home, finally back to the Oc. Well he comes over today at like 10 in the morning and he got me breakfast! Hes so cuutee(; We just sat there, ate, and watched TV together. & Just like I said in the other blog, I was gonna tax him with my love! And I sure did('= Kekekekee! Then later, we just hung out at my house for a bit til it was 1ish, and we walked over to his house. Then we meant up TimmyLa! Mhmhmh, basically after that I just sat around and I just watched the two boys dance,('=
Today would be the best day. I just spent the whole day bonding with my baby, and I feel so much closer to him. It feels right. It feels like he's really my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. I look at him, and I can't imagine hes the guy that I've been fighting with. The guy I've been arguing with. Being with him it feels so relaxing and peaceful. He just makes me so happy to the fullest extent. Now that I finally got to be with him for the whole day, and I see how much he changed. I feel like there's a completely different connection between us. Not a bad one, but a very good one <3 So so much closer. Calvin Nguyen, you're everything I ever wanted in a guy, and I know we've got something way more than just the 'lil kidz' kind of love.

Definitions

I really think the definition of love is happiness, and the definition of happiness is love. Its like a 2-way kind of thing. You can't have one or the other, its always both. If you're unhappy that isn't love. If you're sad that isn't love. Love is always happiness. Happiness is always love. Love + Happiness = Boy&Girl. I can't think of another way to make it any simpler. I have a new way of looking at things, understanding things, a new mind set. Eventually the make up love, the I'm sorrys are gonna get old. Just eventually. Things can never be the same, things can't just continue working out, things can't keep on going...

"I only go to you for happiness. But you don't make me happy anymore, so whats left?" -Queenie

Tonight

Fucccck, I hate it when hes right. )'= I love getting lectures from mah Daddy, he always finds a thing to make me feel better. Always finding a way to keep on trying, keep on going, & keep on fighting like a soldier. Cos at the end of the day, its all worth it. But how long do I have to keep on fighting? I just want a goddamn brighter day, I hate continuously having these dark nights.

"The greater things in life make the greatest pain. Its love. We need it to survive, yet it hurts us so much. But when it doesn't hurt us, its the greatest feeling of all." - DaddyHJV

Trading spaces

I'll give you what it feels like to be in my shoes, and how it fucken feels like being put second. I always had a jealousy issue. Bitches these days gotta understand, whats mine is mine, not yours. I don't even know who to believe, the bitch who told me or you. You make things even worst when I confront you about it. I just wanna hear those calming words, "Of course not, you're the only girl. Don't you cry, it's gonna be okay." Just those simple words, would just make me feel 10x better. But nope, it turns into a fucken tantrum. Pretty much like how a 4 year old would handle it. Urgh, I really wish the world never invented the the private calling, thing. My life would be so much easier.

"I'd rather trust a woman's instincts, than a man's words." -Unknown.

10 31 08

You give the words "forever" a whole new meaning. & You're the person that's willing to keep that promise. This summer was just a setback, I love you baby. Calvin Minh Nguyen, 9 months & we still got it <3