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I'm up so early. Its so crazy. I can't even go back to sleep. Yesterday was such a fun day, I loved every single moment of it. Till I got home and then I found out my DaddyHjv, might go away. That basically messed up my whole night. But its just a 50/50 chance that he might leave. I really hope he doesn't. Lets hope God listens to my prayers for the next couple of days. I was so tired, I knocked out by like 10:00 last night. Then around 12, I just woke up again. Its been happening to me a lot. And I wake up around like 4am in the morning again. Whats wrong with me, why can't I sleep! I guess there has been a lot of things on my mind lately. I hope he just makes the right decision and doesn't regret it. Cos I'm giving him my whole heart, while hes only giving half. Sigh sigh * I hate how I'm impatient, I hate how I've got such a jealousy issue. What to do .. what to do.

My baby sister Julie Le is leaving today to Florida for 5 fucken days )'= Imma miss her like crazy. Even though its only 5 days, I'm going to feel like something is missing. When I've got shit to handle, she won't be there. When I'm in desperate need of a ride, she won't be there either. When I'm bored out of my mind, she won't be there to talk to either ];< Babyguh came to visit me last night before she would leave today. Sigh sigh. I was I was like small enough to fit into her luggage and go with her. I'll miss you! <3 I can't wait till you come back home. I lovelovelove you. :-*

Last night;
Sql- Shes not that pretty right? I mean look at her
Jl- In that picture she looks cute.
* Clicks on picture to enlarge
SQL & JL- EWWWW WATTTTAA FUCKEN UUGGLY BITTCCCCCCH !
^ God I'm going to miss these convos with you ];<

I have really fallen in love ...

with you, Smart Water!

Dear Mother Nature,
Why do you give California such hot weather?! Its seriously frying me up. I'm just sitting here, and I can feel myself sweat. Can you please just cool it down just a little? Like kick down a TINY notch. Cos the hot weather is seriously getting to my head. I've been such a bitch lately cos of this damn weather ];< That's all I'm asking for right now, its just a simple request. Just to make it less so fucken hot. Thank you. Love, Queenie.

I'm sorry to everyone who I've been bitching too or acted like a bitch towards them. Gawd this weather just, Urrrgh. I wish it was winter, where you can snuggle with the one you love, and get warm :) That sounds really good right now. I miss my baby. Sigh sigh* Why can't he just understand that it hurts me. Why can't he just call, and we can finally talk it out. I'm so confused. I'm so lost. What happened to me being strong? Hes my weakness. All of the walls I put up, he always ends up knocking them down...)'=

Paul "Dj Peewhee" Le.

You have made such a big impact in my life. Words can't even describe the love that I have for you. You've always been there for me. Through everything, always giving me second chances, and I always end up messing it up. You're the closest family member I have. It gives me chills every time I think about how me and you share the same blood. I'm so thankful that the world gave me such a wonderful cousin. After reading what you wrote about me, I took the time and I thought about how much "shit" we went through. & I finally realized that I'm always the wrong one. You were just only doing whats best for me, but I was so greedy, I was so stubborn I never listened. I just continued what I was doing, careless about how you would feel. I always tried to hide things from you, knowing that sooner or later you're gonna find out. I don't even know why I even did those type of things, but I guess that's part of what growing up means. You learn from your mistakes. And Paul, you made me realize all of the mistakes that I made. I finally understand why you "scare", and give me "lectures" all the time. Its not because you hate me, its not because you're bored and have nothing else to do. Its only because you care, and you love me. You telling me all of this doesn't effect you, I only effects me. And I would like to thank you, thank you for everything that you have done for me. I love you Cuhhz, always and forever.

Mondays.

The fever, bloody noses, constant coughing, and unable to breathe sickness finally went away ('= I woke up this morning around like 12pm, and I got ready right away. Julie came to pick me up around like 2! Then Christy & I, stopped by Roger's house. Kekeke. I saw my Kevin Ha<3 After like 3 weeks without seeing that felluh, I miss him. Even though we only hung out for like 20 minutes, cos that loser had to go home! Well Christy & I was hanging out at Roger's house for a bit, then we walked back out to Boiling Crab to go eat for Julie's dinner. Yummy Cajun fries & the hot wings, my favvy! Then we took cues, drank tasteas, and walked around. Then my DaddyHjv, came to pick me up & we hung out for a bit then he drove me home ('= He gave me the longest lecture!];< I think hes the first person I like hearing/getting lectures from though. Cos at the end of the day, I always learn something new! I think today was a pretty good day. I bonded with everyone, and everything went great. ("; Well night night world. Going to bed soon. Another great day tomorrow to look forward too. P.S. Happy 14th Birthday Julie Le <3 I love you baby!

Resting.

I'm so sick. I've never felt this sick in my life. My whole body aches. There's a fucken bruise on my ass, and I can't lay down straight. My voice cracks. My arms are so sore because I've been laying on my sides. I cough, and then those yucky mucus shit comes out. Its filling up my throat )'= My left nose I can breathe! My right, has so much shit in it, I can't breathe at all. So I'm like depending on my mouth & left nose to breathe. And I sound like a man. I've been stuck in bed since like 11 this morning. I had to wake up for Church for the first time for the last 4 weeks. Mommy has been lazy to go, and she finally went this week. I hate stupid old guys who check out me & my sister; Shirley every time we walk pass. At least have some respect, we're in God's house. Urgh. After this. I think I'm just gonna lay in bed and watch Disney Channel all day long. I don't even wanna stay on. I'm so tired. & I'm so sore. All I want right now is Mama's home made hot hot tea w/ lemon on the side. After 6 days straight going out, I think today I'm just gonna stay in the house and rest. I gotta get myself better for tomorrow. Its my baby Julie Le's party! And we gotta party "hard". But the way I'm feeling right now, I don't think I can. )'= Well back to bed. Current favorite song; Back Again - Andre Merritt